Enlightenment

Or "the post in which Kassie talks about herself." Don't worry, I won't do this often.

Meniere's Disease is a disorder of the inner ear. It is characterized by four symptoms. It has no clear cause and it seems to worsen or disappear at its leisure. I have always thought it would be better off called a 'syndrome' since it has no known cause and is defined by symptoms; but maybe the real reason I want it called a 'syndrome' is I don't like thinking myself as having some 'disease.' If you haven't guessed or didn't know, I have Meniere's Disease.

Like I said it is characterized by four symptoms:
1. fullness or pressure in the ears
2. periods of vertigo
3. some hearing loss in one or both ears
4. tinnitus (ringing or other noise) in one or both ears

The real kicker is you don't have to have all of these symptoms to have Meniere's Disease. I seem to have all but the fullness or pressure (although I do have that on occasion, usually before/during the vertigo episodes).

This disease occurs slightly more frequently in men and is most common in the 40-60 age group. My start of Meniere's Disease was vertigo episodes when I was sixteen. I had them pretty often and would go weeks with my head being sensitive to movement, noise, and light (but it wasn't a migraine). Other times I was vomiting. There wasn't much the doctor could do, only suggest that I come in when I was actually having an attack, but the last thing I wanna do when the room is spinning so hard I am vomiting is to get in a car. The hard attacks aside, I could function pretty normally with the vertigo. I still went to work and school and drove myself around if necessary (being extra careful and super alert to my surroundings). It has tapered itself down. I am at one or two bad episodes a year now. I can't go on carnival or amusement park rides anymore (although roller coasters seem to be ok for the most part which is good, those are my favorite). I also get car sick easily. But lots of people have those problems.

I first noticed the hearing loss my first semester of college. I came home and told mom I was having hearing trouble; she took me to the doctor who administered a typical hearing test (raise your hand when you hear the 'beep') and I passed with flying colors. The next semester I took a math course from an old retiree who resembled yoda and talked softly with a low voice. He really was a great teacher and a very cute old man, but I went from sitting in the back of the classroom to the front-right in order to hear. I can home that summer and mom sent me to specialists. They determined I had a moderate hearing loss in my left ear, took MRIs to rule out tumors and other scary things, gave me balancing tests (really hard ones like standing on one foot with your eye closed... ok so not that hard, but apparently I only did about as good as a five year-old), and did other tests to determine I had problems.

I have the tinnitus and hearing loss in my left ear. The tinnitus for me is more of a 'rushing' rather than a ringing (like a TV is on but not plugged into the cable) and the hearing loss is on the moderate/severe side. Because of the white noise I constantly have in my ear, low tones (men's voices) and places with lots of background noise make hearing harder for me. I have figured out how to compensate. Tricks like turning my head or watching someones lips and trying to fit things they may be saying into the current context of the conversation. I also ask people to repeat themselves A LOT (just ask Cam).

The inner ear is pretty much a black box to scientists and doctors. They don't know how to fix inner ear problems. So now I know what I have but there isn't a way to fix it unless it goes away or stabilizes on its own - which I think it has (stabilized I mean).

I don't tell these stories to get sympathy. I know how to deal with the vertigo when it happens (which isn't too often), I hardly notice the noise in my ear unless I focus on it, and I honestly don't remember what it was like before I couldn't hear very well. I tell you this to ask you to cut my some slack once and a while. I don't hear everything. Sometimes I can be looking right at you and not realize you are talking to me because I can't hear what is going on (especially if there is lots of noise). Once in a while I won't look at you when you are talking to me so I can point my good ear at you. Other times I will be staring at your mouth (I don't think I am too obvious with that though). I may ask you to repeat yourself... a lot... Please just humor me, I am trying.