Friday, February 3, 2012

"Steady Days"

We moved again and are in Logan, Utah now. Logan is an amazing city. Before we moved we heard comments like, "Logan? I used to live there, you will love it!" No one explained why we would love it, just we would. After a month we do love it, and I can't seem to explain why either. It is a lot of little things. Everything is so close. We can walk to the store, the library, the church, the transit center where we can hop on and ride somewhere further for free. Running errands takes 15 minutes total instead of 15 minutes just in travel time. I am sure there are other reasons I love Logan, but this cozy feeling is one attribute I just can't get over!

Cam's started school (the actual Computer Science coursework, yahoo!) and we are settling in at home. We started going to the library since the cold and wet weather of January made going out to play difficult most weeks. By chance I looked up some parenting books and stumbled on "Steady Days" by Jamie C. Martin. It is a small, thin book so I figured I had a fighting chance of actually finishing and applying the book.

The subtitle is "A Journey Towards Intentional, Professional Motherhood." Intentional and professional mothering is something I have struggled with since having Dallas.

Up until Dallas was born I was constantly in school or working, usually a combination of the two. I had something other than myself telling me where I needed to be, what I needed to do and my sense of hard work and responsibility (I felt guilty if I didn't do assignments to the best of my ability, I couldn't even fathom intentionally skipping class or sloughing off assignments) took care of the rest. After he was born I was suddenly at home ALL THE TIME and no one telling my what to do. I had no idea what to do with myself. I had intentions of setting specific days to clean, of always having dinner of the table when Cam got home and other "homemaker" duties. Unfortunately, I didn't. There were times it got very bad (we won't go into details, but I never left the house so I wouldn't shower until Cam told me I smelled... yeah I guess that was too much detail, huh?). However my work ethic was still there making me feel incredibly guilty, but I didn't know what exactly what I was feeling guilty for.

I only felt accomplished when I was working outside the home so I found a job and kept working. I felt I needed that something telling me what to do! After working part-time in the tutoring, para-educating, and substitute teaching realm; I finally landed a full-time teaching job! If that wasn't going to make me feel accomplished I didn't know what would! However, even while teaching full-time and being told how much I was benefiting the 150 students in my classes; I felt guilt for what my children (and, to a lesser degree, the house) weren't getting.

So what gives? I realized "doing" work didn't fulfill that guilt for sloughing off my responsibility to my children. I was a good professional educator, why couldn't I figure out how to be a good professional mother? That is why this book really caught my eye: "Intentional, Professional Motherhood."

The book has been an eye-opener. It isn't full of ground-breaking thoughts or techniques, but has given me clear ideas and methods to make being at home with my children productive and meaningful. Along with creating a "Steady Routine" the book suggests finding one thing to improve upon at a time. It is so easy to tackle things one at a time.

If I sound like you, or you sound like me, I would recommend giving this book a gander. You'll take some, you'll leave some, but I believe it will be a good experience :)

No comments: