"Steady Days"

We moved again and are in Logan, Utah now. Logan is an amazing city. Before we moved we heard comments like, "Logan? I used to live there, you will love it!" No one explained why we would love it, just we would. After a month we do love it, and I can't seem to explain why either. It is a lot of little things. Everything is so close. We can walk to the store, the library, the church, the transit center where we can hop on and ride somewhere further for free. Running errands takes 15 minutes total instead of 15 minutes just in travel time. I am sure there are other reasons I love Logan, but this cozy feeling is one attribute I just can't get over!

Cam's started school (the actual Computer Science coursework, yahoo!) and we are settling in at home. We started going to the library since the cold and wet weather of January made going out to play difficult most weeks. By chance I looked up some parenting books and stumbled on "Steady Days" by Jamie C. Martin. It is a small, thin book so I figured I had a fighting chance of actually finishing and applying the book.

The subtitle is "A Journey Towards Intentional, Professional Motherhood." Intentional and professional mothering is something I have struggled with since having Dallas.

Up until Dallas was born I was constantly in school or working, usually a combination of the two. I had something other than myself telling me where I needed to be, what I needed to do and my sense of hard work and responsibility (I felt guilty if I didn't do assignments to the best of my ability, I couldn't even fathom intentionally skipping class or sloughing off assignments) took care of the rest. After he was born I was suddenly at home ALL THE TIME and no one telling my what to do. I had no idea what to do with myself. I had intentions of setting specific days to clean, of always having dinner of the table when Cam got home and other "homemaker" duties. Unfortunately, I didn't. There were times it got very bad (we won't go into details, but I never left the house so I wouldn't shower until Cam told me I smelled... yeah I guess that was too much detail, huh?). However my work ethic was still there making me feel incredibly guilty, but I didn't know what exactly what I was feeling guilty for.

I only felt accomplished when I was working outside the home so I found a job and kept working. I felt I needed that something telling me what to do! After working part-time in the tutoring, para-educating, and substitute teaching realm; I finally landed a full-time teaching job! If that wasn't going to make me feel accomplished I didn't know what would! However, even while teaching full-time and being told how much I was benefiting the 150 students in my classes; I felt guilt for what my children (and, to a lesser degree, the house) weren't getting.

So what gives? I realized "doing" work didn't fulfill that guilt for sloughing off my responsibility to my children. I was a good professional educator, why couldn't I figure out how to be a good professional mother? That is why this book really caught my eye: "Intentional, Professional Motherhood."

The book has been an eye-opener. It isn't full of ground-breaking thoughts or techniques, but has given me clear ideas and methods to make being at home with my children productive and meaningful. Along with creating a "Steady Routine" the book suggests finding one thing to improve upon at a time. It is so easy to tackle things one at a time.

If I sound like you, or you sound like me, I would recommend giving this book a gander. You'll take some, you'll leave some, but I believe it will be a good experience :)

Competency Test

Apparently as part of "No Child Left Behind" Washington OSPI decided that, along with the content area competency test, prospective teachers need to take a basic skills test in reading, writing, and mathematics to decide if they know enough to be "good teachers." The reading and math portions of the test consists of approximatly 60 multiple choice questions, the writing portion is approximatly 50 multiple choice questions and 2 writing prompts. The test is over a period of about four and one-half hours and the test-taker is allowed to do the test in any order and pace themself.

This is the last step in being certified to teach in Washington. I don't know if I am going to teach here soon but I have come this far and it gives me more options in the future. I have needed to take this test since May and have been putting it off and putting it off for two reasons: first, I haven't been in a school setting for nearly three years and I am not sure about my test-taking skills, knowledge, etc. and secondly, it feels awfly like another blasted hoop to jump through.

I finally stopped dragging my feet and registered for the test last night; I'll be taking it January 9th. My guess is most prospective teachers worry about brushing up on their math skills, I am sure this won't be a problem for me, I am more worried about the writing prompts. Even though I have plenty of time before the test, I decided to check the online study guide (ten questions per sub-section) to see if I needed to worry for the next two months about my ability to pass.

Ironically the only section I got anything wrong on was the math section, and that was because I misread the question. I guess I don't need to worry about being competent enough to be a teacher and I can enjoy my Christmas/Thanksgiving holiday.

The Plan

I guess just so everyone knows, Cam has decided that is the Seattle job falls through we are going up to Seattle for school anyway (he is going to go to GRCC and finish his associates and then see where he wants to go from there). He isn't even 100% sure he will take the Seattle job, or wait for it if they aren't hiring right away, anymore either.

We already applied him to GRCC and he was accepted. He is tentatively thinking about physical therapy or sports medicine stuff. It look like either way we are planning on being up in Seattle area by the end of March at the latest. THere are still a lot of details to iron out but we have started the process for applying for grants and student loans, now we still need to find a place to live and get Cam (and possibly me too) are part time job. Please keep your eyes open for good part time jobs and/or cheap 2 room apartments if you could (Jen, how much was rent at the complex you and Dane were at that is right down the street from GRCC?)

E*Trade Makes Me Happy

So they put off the starting time of the Portland position another week, so that is another week of waiting. Also the Seattle position opened, but we have no idea when they are wanting to fill that by. Cam is also struggling with the decision of either applying to these jobs or just forgetting about them and planning on school full-time.

I am only about ready to pull my hair out, but it is no big deal :)

Four more weeks!

Student teaching is going well for the most part. The biggest struggle is management, but my university adviser assures me that that is the biggest problem for most student teachers. There is more weight when you are their permanent teacher. Other than that (and discipline is really only an issue in one of the five classes I teach) it is fun and I learn a lot by actually teaching and watching my co-op teacher. Today my co-op was at a meeting at eh high school so in addition to the algebra classes I normally teach, I was able to teach geometry and algebra 2. I has taught geometry once before and never the algebra 2 class, but it all went well. The day was very busy and I had to wing a bit of the lessons (I know, great start to my teaching career isn't it?) but it gave me a "I can defiantly do this" sort of feeling.

While teaching is being fun I am looking forward to being done and spending some quality time with Dallas again.